7 Habits of Highly Effective People
As some of you might know, I'm a bit of a self-help junkie. I started this journey a couple of years ago to overcome a sense of apathy that had slowly growing in my life. Since starting on this track of self improvement, my quality of life has increased significantly. And now I'm constantly devouring books and audio CD's with the goal of self-satisfaction. Of all the books that I've read so far, the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is one of the best. Below is a review and summary of the book. It is meant to be educational, but not a replacement for the original work. I have read the book all the way through for an overall understanding of the material. I'm now on my 2nd time through for application. I welcome you to start on this journey as well.
Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was the epitome of self-help books just over a decade ago. Even though you might not have heard of it, it has shown to be the real deal.
The overall philosophy of the book is based on a maturity continuum which travels from Dependence (you) to independence (I) to interdependence (we). Habits 1, 2, and 3 deal with self mastery and private victories and assist in the transformation from dependent to independent. Habits 4, 5, and 6 build teamwork, cooperation and communication. These include Public Victories and transfer from the independent to the interdependent.
Habit 1: Be Proactive
There are 3 accepted theories of determinism (a theory or doctrine that acts of the will, occurrences in nature, or social or psychological phenomena are causally determined by preceding events or natural laws) to explain the nature of man.
1) Genetic determinism: it’s inherited in your genes (i.e. Of course you have a temper, you're Irish)
2) Psychic determinism: learned early from your parents (think the teachings of Freud)
3) Environmental: this includes everything else. Your boss, coworkers, spouse, kids, the economy, national debt, personal debt, etc
2) Psychic determinism: learned early from your parents (think the teachings of Freud)
3) Environmental: this includes everything else. Your boss, coworkers, spouse, kids, the economy, national debt, personal debt, etc
However, between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose. You are responsible, or better, response-able. There are multiple ways of choosing your response including self awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will.
Reactive vs Proactive
Reactive people are affected by their environment, the weather (sad on a rainy day), how others treat them. Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment…
Proactive people are still influenced by external stimuli but their response to it is a value based choice or response.
A quote that Covey used that I love is: Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can hurt you without your consent”
Self Awareness
Circle of Concern: where do we focus our time and energy (both physical and mental)? i.e. our health, finances, children, work, national debt, etc.
Circle of Influence: these are the concerns we have control over either directly (problems involving our own behavior) or indirectly (problems involving the behavior of others).
Any time we think the problem is “out there”, that thought is the problem. We empower what is out there to control us. This paradigm approach is from the outside-in, example “that much change before I can…” The proactive approach is to generate change from the inside out. (Personal note: This is one of the hardest changes for me personally)
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means know where you are going so that you can better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.
In the book, Covey asks you to imagine your own funeral. What would the people there say about you and how you lived your life?
“Begin with the end in mind” is based on the principle that al things are created twice. There’s a mental of first creation and a physical or second creation to all things. There is an idea before there is an action.
Covey then goes on to describe the difference between Management and Leadership. Fundamentally, Management asks: How can I best accomplish certain things? Leadership asks: What do I want to accomplish? Management is doing things right, leadership is doing the right things.
A Personal Mission Statement
The most effective way to build a personal mission statement is to begin with the end in mind. Focus on what you want to be (character) and do (contribution and achievements) and on the values upon which being and doing are based. A strong sense of values and conviction cannot be emphasized enough. Begin at the very center of your Circle of Influence. Different people have different paradigms for the source of their center, i.e. spouse, family, work, pleasure, money, self, but perhaps the center should be based upon principles instead?
Covey quotes Viktor Frankl: "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible."
So there you have habits 1 & 2. I will be focusing on these two habits for this month, until I feel comfortable enough with these principles to proceed. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask. I can only hope that you decide to start a similar journey. And remember that this is not a quick-fix, but rather a life-long lesson of self mastery.
To be continued!
